Do you ever feel like you're going through different "seasons" of learning? Like God keeps reinforcing the same subject matter in your life in different ways?
I've come to the realization that I subconsciously believe that I can earn God's love. That if I make all the right decisions, He will love me more. That when I make mistakes, He's sitting up in heaven hopelessly shaking His head at me.
I once heard a pastor say, "We can't let God down because we aren't holding Him up."
So true. Yet how often do I feel like I'm letting Him down when I mess up? I'm not the one holding Him up, He's holding me.
It boggles my tiny human mind that when God looks at me, He doesn't see all the sin in my life. He doesn't see the mess. He doesn't see the mistakes I've made. He sees the blood that was shed to set me free. I am righteous before God because of Christ Jesus alone. That's not to say I go on and do whatever I please because I'm forgiven anyways. I want to do the right thing out of a grateful heart. Grateful for His grace, love, and forgiveness. Grateful for the One who poured out His life on the cross as a sacrifice for my ugly heart. But doing the right thing isn't what earns His love.
"...we all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Jesus Christ when he freed us from the penalty for our sins." (Romans 3:23-24)
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:11)
It is my prayer that God helps me to live in the freedom that Christ died in order for me to have.